The term “Disney Divorce” is often used to describe a post-divorce family situation in which one parent, usually Dad, isn’t involved in day-to-day parenting but shows up on infrequent occasion to do something spectacular with the kids, like visit Disneyland.  This is not that story.  This is the story of a real Disney divorce, the collaborative divorce of Roy Disney and his wife Patty.

Governor Gibbons evidently made a mistake common among those who have finally decided to seek a divorce:  he moved first and asked questions later.  Many family law specialists warn against that.

That’s the thing about a contested divorce:  it’s often ugly and it’s public. There’s no better example than the drama being played out between former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey and his estranged wife Dina Matos McGreevey.

An old friend who thought he was quite the wit (and sometimes was) used to say, “She can’t help being ugly, but she doesn’t have to go out in public.”   That’s the thing about a contested divorce:  it’s ugly and it’s public.  There’s no better example than the drama being played out in the pages of the Trenton Times between former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey and his estranged wife Dina Matos McGreevey.

In the second chapter, the judge recommends alternatives to conventional divorce, specifically mediation and collaborative divorce.

Even in the best of circumstances, says the judge, “There is the possibility that even a well-meaning, experienced family law judge will rule for the wrong side.”

When one or both spouses are determined to drag out a divorce case, the process can be interminable.

The judge devotes two entire chapters to legal issues regarding the children of divorce.

“Whatever you do, try to keep your divorce out of divorce court,” says Judge Roderic Duncan.   That seems like strange advice from a man who’s ruled on 25,000 divorce cases.

A couple’s decision to divorce creates a ripple effect among nearly everyone they know.  But there is no process for deciding who gets custody of their friends.   The more contentious the divorce, the more awkward many friendships may become.

When you think of a labor dispute, what comes to mind?  The two sides can’t agree, things are at a stalemate.  Maybe one side has walked out, or maybe the other side locked them out.  Harsh words are spoken.  Finally an arbitrator is brought in.  Each side makes demands.  The arbitrator considers the case and decides who gets what.  Neither side walks away happy.

Suze Orman's October advice column in Oprah magazine touches on the costs of divorce for couples.  Orman recommended collaboration (or collaborative divorce) as a way for couples to "divorce with dignity."  Collaborative divorce allows for parties to create their own solutions regarding spousal support, division of property, child custody and other issues facing couples as they separate.  The parties explore what each person envisions as his or her post-divorce life and consider different possible solutions with their attorneys (and sometimes other professionals such as financial planners and mental health professionals).  The group works together dynamically to assist the family members reach individual and family goals.

According To Vogue magazine, divorce lawyers have become the 13th most useful fashionable accessory to the fashionable elite. Recognizing the complexity of current divorces due to the credit crunch , the best and brightest women are making sure they are arm in arm with their divorce settlement negotiator.

What exactly is a “collaborative divorce?”  We all know what divorce is and what it means to collaborate, but how can the two go together considering that the decision to divorce usually is the culmination of conflict and frustration? With the help of specially trained professionals, couples can approach divorce in a cooperative spirit that helps them complete their separation respectfully and move forward with their lives without excessive emotional turmoil, even though they are not getting along.

Matt Maupin was a 20 year old Army reservist captured by insurgents in Iraq when his fuel convoy was ambushed four years ago.   A video released by his captors showed him surrounded by masked men with automatic rifles.  Subsequently, another video emerged showing what the captors claimed was Maupin’s execution by gunfire.  The Pentagon, however, ruled that the poor quality video was inconclusive.  Matt’s parents were steadfast that it did not depict their son.  And so they began their four-year wait for news of Matt, four years during which this divorced couple put together an incredible network of support not just for him but for all Americans serving  overseas.

Welcome to our Collaborative Divorce blog! Collaborative divorce is a relatively new way to handle the divorce process—a way that offers more emotional support and less conflict—a way that gives you more personal control and eliminates arbitrary decisions—and especially, a way that places the focus on the future well-being of everyone concerned, including children.