Governor Gibbons evidently made a mistake common among those who have finally decided to seek a divorce:  he moved first and asked questions later.  Many family law specialists warn against that.

While we’re on the subject of governors(see “Being Ugly in Public, posted on July 27, 2009), another who is in the midst of a difficult divorce is Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons, who filed for divorce in late April after abruptly moving out of the governor’s mansion in Carson City and back to the family’s private residence in Reno.  And therein lies the problem.  The mansion is the official residence that Nevada provides for its governor, but he’s not the one living there.  He’s not even living in the State capitol.  Realizing his dilemma, the governor asked First Lady Dawn Gibbons to trade accommodations with him, but she declined.  She says she needs access to her office at the mansion to carry out her duties and that she’s interested in maintaining the 22-year marriage.  So in addition to the divorce filing, the Governor is also suing to get his official residence back.

Leaving Home

Governor Gibbons evidently made a mistake common among those who have finally decided to seek a divorce:  he moved out first and asked questions later.  Many family law specialists warn against that, pointing out that it can be construed as abandonment.  They advise first negotiating a separation agreement that spells out each party’s living arrangements and filing it with the court, particularly if you have an interest in retaining title to the property after the divorce.  Obviously, title won’t be a problem for Governor Gibbons, though the embarrassment of being more or less locked out of the official house may be.

Separate Lives

Figuring out separate living arrangements can be a vexatious problem for divorcing couples, but it’s one of many more easily solved in a collaborative divorce process.  One of the basic premises in a collaborative divorce is that the couple will work together to arrange their finances so that each has the resources to live independently.  In cases where finances are tight, that can require creative problem solving.  Fortunately, collaborative attorneys are trained to work with one another toward solutions that are mutually beneficial for their clients, so they are much more likely to produce a reasonable outcome than litigators who are pledged only to win.  And if it’s financially necessary for both parties to continue living under the same roof while the divorce proceeds, that’s more likely to be workable if the spouses have committed to a collaborative process in which they’ve agreed to treat one another with respect and courtesy.