When you think of a labor dispute, what comes to mind?  The two sides can’t agree, things are at a stalemate.  Maybe one side has walked out, or maybe the other side locked them out.  Harsh words are spoken.  Finally an arbitrator is brought in.  Each side makes demands.  The arbitrator considers the case and decides who gets what.  Neither side walks away happy.

Striking Out

Doesn’t that sound a lot like a contested divorce?  Certainly litigating couples may argue over property division and residency in the family home.  Angry words are not uncommon.  And the bottom line is that in a contested divorce, the judge essentially acts as an arbitrator, considering the position presented by each party’s attorney and handing down a settlement decision.  The couple doesn’t decide, the judge does.

Keeping Control

Couples who choose collaborative divorce retain control over the decisions in their case.  They jointly decide everything:  from how to handle their equity in the home, to who gets the dining room set, to who will provide health insurance for the children.  Although they will work with various professionals on the collaborative team, no one will make decisions for them.

Joint decision-making can be hard when a couple’s relationship is strained.  Committing to the principles of collaboration at the outset helps keep discussions on track, and the coaches and collaborative attorneys provide support and guidance.

The decision each spouse must make individually is whether to collaborate and work through the decisions that will shape their future, or litigate and let someone else make those decisions.